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Can your relationship survive after infidelity?

Birds depicting a loving, nurturing relationship.An article in Therapy Today, (June 2010 Vol.21 Issue 5) focused on research undertaken by Dr Andreas Vossler and Dr Naomi Moller.  The study suggested that couples who were able to trust and forgive after a partners infidelity, were able to have long-term positive results.  Furthermore, utilising professionals, such as counsellors or organisations such as relate, assisted in nurturing this progression.
 
Or in contrast............"Once a cheat always a cheat!"
 
Your comments are appreciated.
 

15 Comments to Can your relationship survive after infidelity?:

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Rex on 08 November 2010 11:40
Historically I think infidelity was more acceptable in a time when divorce was impossible (as long as it was not public). Are we more 'civilised' today in that infidelity can be seen as unforgivable under any circumstances? I read some sage advice the other day from the pen of Anthony Trollope: "Oh, husbands, oh, my marital friends, what great comfort is there to be derived from a wife well obeyed!"
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Antoinette on 10 November 2010 12:57
Anthony Trollope's quote, implies to me, that a man can only find happiness in his status as a husband if he obeys his wife. Maybe I have interpretated his quote incorrectly, however, if my interpretation has some truth, then a happy marriage can not be defined with this inequality. A happy relationship to me requires empathy, an openness and trust.....without these elements a relationship will be stiffled and unabalanced. If a wife is to be oeyed then so must a husband. Obey seems such a powerful draconian word. A relationship can survive after infidelity if there is a clear alliance between the parties concerned. To conclude, using another quote from Anthony Trollope in his book entitled 'The Bertrams', "Those who have courage to love should have courage to suffer".


2020Media on 10 November 2010 13:42
The quote was flippant to a point, but I would't say that Trollope considers this the only route to happiness. The book from which it's taken, Barchester Towers, does offer some alternative examples of successful marriages - Mrs Bold and her eventual husband, Dr and Mrs Grantly - both strong willed characters who make it work, and it is only the more comic characters who are portrayed as hen-pecked or shrew accordingly. Would you say that relationships are more likely to be happy where the characters are evenly matched in temperement, or, where there is a more of a submissive/dominant relationship?
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Antoinette on 13 November 2010 14:36
Heah, I'm not an authority on relationships, however, I like to think that relationships, change constantly. Managing the relationship with yourself can be a struggle, as well as the additional struggles of managing relationships with others. A relationship, to me should have certain core elements that make you as an individual feel content and free. Therefore submissive/dominant relationships can work, if it is assumed that both parties have elements of those qualities within them. Therefore, it would be nice to think that using terms like submissive and dominant doesn't denote a fixed way of behaviour between two people, but one that has some fluidity. In addition, external factors are a catalyst for change within relationships. Illness, death, redundancy, infidelity are some of the factors which can change the dynamics of a relationship.


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Townsville escorts on 10 January 2014 13:41
After Infidelity things got changed and not stay same as before. so it is bad times and make relations as it was is not an easy.
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The study suggested that couples who were able to trust and forgive after a partners infidelity, were able to have long-term positive results
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